07.03.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 11:43 am by Athena
It must have been 2 or 3 am last night that the thunder pealed through my room. The window was open and it wasn’t like a simple crack off in the distance – it was a rooooooollllllliiinnnnnggggg PPeeeeeeaaaaallllllll of Thuuunnnnnnnddddddeeeeerrrrrrr.
The best thunder I’ve heard in years. Angry frustrated skies letting out these bellows of Ragnarock. I woke up thinking the Rainbow Bridge had collapsed and Valhalla had tumbled into the ice sea.
However, despite my awe and amazement at how great the thunder was, I sat up going “Wow! That was a good one!” And fell back to sleep immediately. That is until the next clash of Gotterdammerung and then I sat up again going, “No! That one was better!!” And fell back asleep immediately. And so that is how I spent the bulk of the storm – waking up with the imaginings of Norse gods battling in my back yard and on the roof and then somewhere in there with dreams of the Rose Garden and the Grand Canyon. That beautiful space between dreams and waking that reality can intrude with something like a thunder storm and the mind is still asleep enough to make leaps of fantasy seem utterly realistic.
Best storm in years!!!
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07.02.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 11:06 am by Athena
I was lamenting last night, as I couldn’t sleep and I had the window open listing to the dark at 2 am, there was no one in my bed to watch. I wondered as I lay sprawled across a bed of pillows with the night breeze and whispers – why is that?
Why am I not at this very moment watching some beautiful man sleeping nearby, lost in dreams and feeling his heat against my skin?
Then I remembered, oh yeah, because in the morning he’ll be awake and full of opinions and needs and…
Then I thought, “Honestly, Athena? Is that the reason?”
So I puzzled it out till 3 am and came to this conclusion. With honesty, I have to admit that I am intentionally and sometimes unintentionally – keeping the possibility of a connection at bay – because somewhere in my mind I have already made the decision that I am leaving Portland at some point for another adventure and I am reluctant to get attached to someone, because I know full well how easy it is to lose momentum when you love someone. How’s that for honesty? I guess I have also been putting off the “I’m not available” vibe energetically for this reason.
I’m too focused on grabbing for the dream.
But that’s as far as I got in the realization. Evidently more thinking is required, as in how long do I intend to stay and where will I be going?
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