The Kickstarter is at $1,032 as of this afternoon!

I’ve added a couple of updates to the project information such as pictures of Fable’s journal and the feather bookmarks I’m making for pledge rewards. You can see them all here.  http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1643871596/murder-of-crows/posts

Today, the theme was very much about balance. This weekend we’re shooting the second trailer, which involves one actor and the need for good, natural light. The last of which is nearly impossible to predict in Portland, Ore.

We moved the filming to tomorrow because this morning it looked cloudy and like it might rain, but then at the last minute the sun came out, after I’d already told everyone to take the day and relax. So hopefully, tomorrow will still be sunny and if not, we’ll fake it with lighting. So everything that’s been piling up, or that I planned to get to tomorrow, needs to be squeezed in today.

What I hadn’t anticipated with the Indie Author Life is the amount of energy that oscillates drastically between frantic and still, harried and restful. The pattern isn’t readily apparent yet, and so I find myself tired, overworked and buried a lot, then wracked with guilt for sitting in the bathtub for an hour that I could be catching up on work.

While I know this learning and busy curve is short-term and that a stability and rhythm will emerge – it temporarily creates the dilemma of learning to do as much as I can, as fast as humanly possible, with as much quality as possible and maintain as much grace as I can muster.

Some days are a failure of grace.

Some days are a failure of rhythm.

Some days are just plain failures.

This morning I burnt my eggs and hash browns as I scrambled to get caught up on an avalanche of emails and work details – blackened tatters.  I also knew, I didn’t have time to fix a second breakfast, or make it to the grocery for at least a few hours. So I put butter on my burnt eggs and tatters and ate them anyway. Mmm. Crunchy.

The point is, most beginnings are rocky. Most beginnings are chaotic and nerve-wracking, stressful and evolutionary. But this stage is finite. It will get better. Some days are eating burnt tatters with butter and others are gourmet crepes.

There will be a day when I can balance a creative life, with a business life and a social circle. It will happen.

But for now, there aren’t enough hours in the day, or even a complete sense of being fully in control of the oscillation yet and you just have to learn to surf it.

Rest when you can rest. Work hard when you can work. Plan as much as possible but remain as flexible as necessary to accomplish everything that still needs to make it in to the slim 24 hour window.

Because even though some days are a failure of grace, or rhythm or productivity – there are some days that are a raging success.

Some days are a success of creativity.

Some days are a success of overcoming start-up fear.

Some days are just plain, marvelously successful.

And those days are worth holding out for… always.