Today I went to the sublet in North Seattle where I’ll be staying for the next six weeks.  I drank a lot of coffee before hitting the freeway, and when I got there I was a little shaky.  I agreed to this sublet on Craigslist and didn’t know much about the arrangement.  

I showed up to a group of three guys in the living room.  The guy who greeted me was the only one living there, the other two were just hanging out.   They helped me unload the jeep and I gave him a rent check.  Even though the house isn’t bad and they were nice – I couldn’t stay there.  I could feel the shakes getting worse and I worried that I’d look like a junky going through withdrawal, so I said I had a date for Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and hurried all the way back to Sammamish.  As soon as I hit the freeway I started sobbing.  Call it emotional overload, or exhaustion or over stimulation – whatever.  The thing is, honestly – I’m scared. 

I know this is ridiculous.  I’m outgoing, and making friends is relatively easy for me so why is it so terrifying, this idea of living with three strangers ( two men & one woman).  On the surface,  I see it as yet another part of the grand adventure, but on the sublevel – sharing space with people I don’t know, have no bond with, and I’m far away from people I love seems like such a leap of faith.  Trust.  I’ve either been fortunate or unfortunate in that I’ve never been in this position before.  I guess I’ll soon find out whether a houseful of roommates is bliss or not.

Joining couchsurfing.com I knew this would be a possibility, but I thought I’d have months before faced with the reality of learning to live with a different standard of physical boundaries.  I guess I’m kind of glad to be getting my crash course before I go out into the international realm.  Although I cried like a friggin baby – I’m actually looking forward to what this might teach me, about the world, and about myself.

I’ll keep you posted on any interesting developments.