I’ve been processing some heavy material in my brain lately and I’m just not ready to write about it. I’m emotionally and mentally constipated and I can’t even manage to put pen to paper in my journal. What I need is a laxative for my brain. Oh, wait, that’s right – it’s called Pyrat Rum. Maybe I’ll have a little tonight and try to get to the bottom of what’s going on upstairs.
On an entirely different note. I’ve been psyching myself up for my first Brazilian wax. I keep telling myself I should do it while I’m not likely to be getting laid anyway – So, I went to the spa and blurted it out quickly (incase I would change my mind at the last minute).
The snobby young woman looked at me, and even though I was taller by about 4 inches, she managed to make me feel like she was looking down at me.
“Brazilian waxes are illegal in Utah.” She said, and rolled her eyes a little.
“Illegal? Like parking in the handicap spot illegal? Or decapitating your ex-husband illegal?”
“As in we don’t do Brazilian waxing because it’s illegal.”
Crap. I’d totally been mentally prepping myself to have everything yanked out by the root. I’m never going to have this kind of courage (or stupidity) again.
“Where’s the nearest place that can do it? Idaho?”
“I think it’s technically illegal there too. But if you’re desperate you can drive to Vegas.”
“Can you do just the Bikini line?” I asked.
She was clearly losing patience with me, and sighed before replying. “Nothing below the belt or above the mid-thigh. You’re obviously not from around here.”
“Portland, actually.”
“Ohhhh.” She said as though THAT explained everything.
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That’s just crazy. You can wax anything in Portland. Utah is a very strange place. Can married people sleep in the same room together? I’d say go to Vegas, get waxed, spend the day at the spa, hit the blackjack tables and the buffet then head home.
Or come to P-town for a weekend of hedonistic waxing. I promise we’ll treat you right!! And I know a lady who does a Great job – no fucking around about it, she just yanks it off so you’re not there agonizing for an hour.
It hurts more than ANYTHING, but I tell you, the rest of the day is orgasmic…Maybe it’s all the bloodflow to the area : )
Love You, Miss You!
Another reason why I don’t miss Utah.
If a woman wants a waxing, she should be able to get one, by George.
Well, not by George. Unless he’s hunky.
Or Seattle and I can do it for free
KFK, I think they can sleep in the same room together here, but they have to be in separate beds and they must be fully clothed.
Sondra, you had me at “hedonistic waxing”. I’m all aflutter at the idea.
Hi Vida! Welcome to the BlissQuest.
I’m glad you escaped the Utah bubble.
And I’m all for George giving me a wax.
Jeff,
That you would offer to wax me shows how much of a dear friend you are. I feel loved more than words can ever say that you are willing to pour hot wax on my snatch and rip all my hair out by the root.
I’m so lucky to have you.
They actually made a law about what you can and cant have done to your own body hair? What cops enforce that law? And how do they know if you’ve broken it? Are there any seedy, back-alley wax parlors?
Hey Doll, sorry i havnt been around, ‘puter died and i had to go buy anew one…and its taken a while to get back to where i need to be. Anyway, to show my love and how much i missed you, Not only will i wax your front side…but i will even be a true friend and wax your backside…..becuase dammit, i care
Hi Dom! Welcome to the BlissQuest.
Seedy back-alley parlors? Good question!
As to the cop that enforces it – I think because the ultra conservatism of the Mormon population has seeped into the law enforcement – I could probably just say the word “vagina” and the poor fellow would fall dead from a heart attack.
Chadely! I’ve missed you!
And because I know you love me so much that you would do this for me I’m torn. I think I’ll leave it to you and Jeffy to see who gets the questionable honor of waxing me bald.
Last one standing gets to pour the wax.
In the unlikely event of a tie – or a double knockout, I’ll ask Andymay to do it, maybe Mistress Sara will want to help.
Good to have you back!
I love the resolutions. Especially the one where you’ll by a new set of shoes every three months and then forget to wear them more often. And about the whole Brazilian wax thing… if it is what I think it is, then OUCH! If you want it, you deserve it, sister! If I were you, I’d do it myself because no one’s going downstairs with anything that even remotely looks like wax – and it’s never too late to change your mind if you do it yourself – and it’s probably cheaper.
Hey Fubar, I don’t believe I can wax myself. However, give it a shot and tell me how it goes.