I’ve asked myself what my resolutions for this year are. I thought about it for weeks beforehand and even the last four days and I’ve got – nothing. I guess I’ve been wanting to give up dairy for awhile. So I’ll plan on cutting dairy out of my diet for a year to see what that does to my body. More of an experiment than any real conviction to a better lifestyle.
I considered making up resolutions I knew I could keep.
Eat chocolate every week. Flirt more. Drink too much coffee. Go shoe shopping at least once every fiscal quarter. Collect random and useless odds and ends. Pick fights over shit that doesn’t really matter. Corrupt the young. Bitch about my weight. And probably fail miserably at keeping even these easy resolutions. However, with resolutions like these – you don’t really feel bad if you fail.
But this year I can’t say I have any real resolutions.
Does that mean I’m happy with everything the way it is? Not really, just a new understanding to the idea that if I want something different in my life, I don’t need to wait for a certain day, or month or year to make a change. This is such a new concept for me. The basic “green light” to everything I want, permission to go after anything at the drop of a hat.
No waiting for a significant other to decide if it’s okay.
No scheduling around other people to make things work.
No negotiating. No holding myself back to keep a status quo.
No begging or pleading for the one you love to see the obvious solutions.
No penalties for a fumble, but serious points for getting back up and going again.
No wishing I was better – simply the knowledge that when I’m ready to be better, I’ll make it happen.
I no longer need a ceremony, a starting date to look forward to like an escape from something I don’t like. I can imagine things and feel the current and when the shift hits the sublevel of my awareness – GO!
All that being said, there are things swirling in my subconscious waters; ideas and changes that I feel. Whether they will be marked and set into motion this year – I don’t know. Here are some of the things that are in the eddy.
Laugh more. Doubt less. Trust more. Argue less. Enjoy flexibility. Encourage roots.
Learn a foreign language, like how to love better. Dance in the rain more. Wear less clothing. Forget my shoes as often as possible. Enjoy time alone. Feel Gratitude every day, even if it’s something small – especially if it’s often over-looked. Forge toward Plan A. Keep childish wonder. Take pictures. Forgive. Write more poetry. Call friends more often just to say “I love you”. Keep family closer. Change my own oil. Smile at strangers. Make eye contact. Remember it is okay to be silent. Run toward something, not away from. Charge the lion. Claim my body. Re-home my mind. Do more. Fear less. Love more. Love more. Love more.
And oh, I do like the chocolate every week thing, so maybe I’ll keep that one. Do you have resolutions this year?
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