I bummed around yesterday, riding the bus and wandering the street where most of the action seems to be. By the time I drove back to SLC I was a little irritated that I wasn’t trying harder to have fun. To be completely honest – I’m bored. This would be so much more fun if I was with someone, or even a group of people.
So I went back to Salt Lake and changed my makeup then went to a club called the Vortex. They were having a legal rave – which by my estimate isn’t really a rave, but hey, lonely bored chicks can’t be picky right?
I ordered a rum and coke and lingered on the fringes of the crowd so I could watch. What I discovered is that – Utah people party weird. They do. I don’t know how else to explain it other than they party with blinders on. Like they can’t acknowledge there are other people on the dance floor or in the room. It’s so strange. How is it a party if you’re not chatting, eyeballing, winking, smiling at strangers or grooving to the music with some random guy you snag from the crowd?
I am a single woman. I am not a Bond Girl – but I am NOT a double bagger either. I am lively and friendly and enthusiastic so I couldn’t understand why my tactic to join the party were failing so miserably.
A) Walk up and say “hey how’s it going?” (he responded by sighing heavily and walking away)
B) Tell hot guy I liked his tats. (he responded by saying thanks and putting his arm around a tall blonde girl)
C) Pick a spot to sit where I can try to make eye contact with guys I liked. (they would look briefly, look back then stoically avoid looking in my general direction EVER AGAIN)
Clearly, I’m doing something wrong. They girls I tried to strike up conversations with were unfriendly, and in a hurry to be somewhere apparently. Except for the really drunk girl falling down who told me she liked my coat.
I drank a couple rum and cokes, got a nice buzz, wandered up and down the levels for a few hours and mostly sat by myself. One guy walking by lifted his glass to me and smiled but disappeared into the crowd before I could even blurt out, “Yay, you must not be from Utah.”
Maybe I’m just a snob. Maybe I’m a Portland Party-girl elitist where it’s considered rude not to acknowledge that someone is so close to your body that you’re breathing their recycled air. Maybe I had a huge booger hanging out my nose – in which case I also tend to think most partiers in Portland would have let me know.
In my attempt to not feel so left field, to make friends and stop avoiding the possibility of human contact ended up a disaster. I’d like to believe it’s the mentality here, boxed and strange, but I’m starting to think I’m back in Junior High where to be a part of the social wave in Utah, you have to be so desensitized and aloof that you miss almost everything.
No wonder I hated it here when I was growing up. I like to smile and laugh and chatter and in this culture that’s an anomaly that doesn’t have a place.
Back at Sundance I’m going to wander around today and look specifically for people who are from places other than the Utah bubble. I’ll chat them up and see if there’s a significant difference between the was they socialize and the way locals socialize and see if it’s just me. I’m interested to know.
It must have showed on my face last night, because as I was leaving, the bouncer, a big Samoan guy stopped me and said, “you takin’ off?” I nodded. “Ah, cheer up.” He then proceeded to give me a very unexpected and gentle bear hug which caused me to laugh despite how crappy I felt.
Hugged by the bouncer – I guess the evening wasn’t a total wash.
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