I woke up this morning with a cold. I think I’d felt it coming on yesterday but was pleasantly living in denial. As it sometimes happens I get miniature colds when I’m having my period or when my mind/body is out of synch. I realized this morning – I have a double whammy in that regard.
Last night I met with Harley, and I babbled non-stop. While I wondered if it was that I’ve been starved for social conversation for the last five months why I hardly let him get a word in edgewise, I also understood – I’m not completely in Portland yet. My body and heart are here – but my brain is still on the road somewhere with an undetermined ETA. I realized after I rushed out of coffee and ran off to dinner without even inviting Harley, how rude I know, I’m sorry Harley, I realized – I still feel like I’m driving. I’m in a hurry to get to locations do things and I’m not fully absorbing the experience. Though happy and cheerful and having fun – I’m missing the deeper levels around me, which could easily affect my search for jobs and visits with friends.
I’m home… but I got here at light speed and the other half of myself is still on vacation – probably somewhere between Park City and Hood River. After my long complaint about Bob Schneider yesterday I wonder now, if it wasn’t just me, or if perhaps he’s suffering from the same “present moment jet lag”.
Anyway, I need to figure out how to get the rest of my parts all in one spot. When I’m sitting somewhere and I catch movement out the corner of my eye, I still check my rearview mirror, even if I’m at a coffee shop. Last week when I was sitting in the movie theatre there was a time I felt like my body was still moving, vibrating subtly to the asphalt.
So I’ve been here 10 days – how long will it take to feel like I’m really here?
4 Comments(+Add)
yeah..I think a lot of people are having that “present moment jetlag” cause I’ve certainly got it….I feel like I’m going in circles. like I get something and then the same problem comes up..like I talk to Zack about us and then I realize I’m not happy..maybe I just need more than he can give..aww…shit, I totally co-opted your post for a bitchiness about my life. sorry. I was trying to say I get it. and then I got carried away. anyhow. loves you. you wanna do something (cheap or free, cause I’m poor till I get some tips!) on Sunday or Monday?
Sweety, thanks for hearing me. Something cheap or free this coming week sound great!
Loves you too, darlin!
No apologies needed. It was great seeing you again. I’m so happy you’re back in Portland.
Thanks Harley
It was really-super-cool and (all sorts of other great descriptive words) to see you again also. Thanks for the night out and I hope we’ll get to catch up more soon!!!