Yesterday I was chowing down on those Spicy Thai Kettle Chips while watching ‘Life is Beautiful’. It was all fine, until the movie made me cry and I foolishly used the same hand that was in the Spicy Thai Kettle Chip bag to rub my eye.
Holy Fucking ginger in the eyeball, Batman!
I thought the movie was upsetting, but as I bolted up the stairs to get to the sink where I could flush my eye with water, I kept thinking “Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea – Don’t put ginger and paprika dust in your eyes.”
Later as I was recovering and my right eye was swollen and red, I looked at the bag and the tagline on the label is “Ginger with attitude.”
No Shit. It should say…
Ginger with attitude. We smite thee, oh stupid whiny bitches who sob at holocaust movies, and suffer periods of eating binges due to depression. We will kick you in your eye and teeth and asshole for you are a pussy and need to be taught a lesson. Kettle Chips Rule!
9 Comments(+Add)
laughing my butt off, you are so cute. I admit I have done that with my homemade salsa which could burn your hair off it’s so hot. I love Kettle Chips, mmmm sea salt and vinegar yumm, dang now I am wanting some. Thanks Athena :-p
Wow, did i ever tell you the time Sara replaced Chili Powder with Cayenne Chili Powder in a recipe? We had 1 Tablespoon each. Ouch.
When you coming to visit? We have a new guest bed just for you!
Jessie,
You’ve sold me on your salsa. I want some! How can anyone pass on salsa that can “burn your hair off”? I mean, if you can’t eat it – at least you can use it to keep your legs smooth. I should point you back to your Coochie Cream comments
Jeffy I wish I could have been there to see that!
How many people can it fit?
I want to come visit soon! A new bed?!!! I’m so excited! I can’t wait to break it in for ya.
Jessie – I’m seeing this whole new marketing line….
Coochie Salsa
By Jessie
“So hot it will burn your hair off – and the winky of any idiot foolish enough to tangle with a burning snatch.”
What do you think? I bet you wouldn’t ve able to keep it on the shelves.
Psh, that’s nothing.
Try possessing a dangling appendage that requires aiming during certain required activities. Now grasp said appendage immediately following chopping habanero.
Grown Man Crying?
check
oh my gosh I bout peed my pants laughing so hard. I love hot stuff and after I eat my salsa I swear it permeates out of my pores for days. Its damn good though. Well we have the product, now we have the fab marketing lines thanks to you, wonder if we can get Megan to draw us a nice packaging design?
Keet, you kill me. I hope you know I’m not laughing with you – I’m so so so laughing at you!
And yes, you have me beat on that one.
Nice.
Jessie, if you can get Megan to draw a design… I think we’re in business.
Just ask her to draw a burning bush. You’re in Mormon country – no one will think twice about a phrase like that.
Woooo-hoooo!
