So I started working part time at a technical school through a temp agency. I was told I’d be “answering phones and doing a little filing”. The cubby hole I report to each morning doesn’t even have a phone and by a little filing, what they meant was “here’s the key to the Morgue.” The morgue is a room where files go to die, and evidently – where they send the new temps hoping they will succumb to the darkness and depression of so much unorganized paperwork and quietly kick the bucket where no one will find their bodies – ever again.
This morning I was super excited to rummage through the supply cabinet for odds and ends and scored a much needed bottle of white out. How does one get so excited about liquid paper? Let me tell you, as I’ve been making sooooo many corrections to my own work as I learn to read the financial aid paperwork and Pell grant papers and loan applications – white out is my best friend. So I hurried back to my desk at 9:30 and opened my new bottle of white out and fixed a mistake I’d tried to scribble out.
People looked at me strangely for the rest of the day, and I chalked it up to being new.
Then as I climbed in my jeep to go home, I glanced in the mirror and saw – a giant splotch of white out across the bottom of my nose and my upper lip.
Like I’d been snorting liquid paper, or I’d tried to erase my mouth – AND NO ONE SAID A WORD FOR THREE HOURS!
Welcome to adventures in temping. I tried to scrub it off, but surprisingly, once that shit dries – it really sticks.
11 Comments(+Add)
I’m so sorry that you were left hanging…but thanks for the giggle!! That would normally be my thing, to do something and not notice it! I promise though, I’d tell you, cuz its no fun being the new kid AND getting laughed at!
LOl oy that is funny, sorry. How rude not to tell you though. Well what goes around comes around, maybe someday one of them will be walking around with TP hanging out their drawers lol.
you know you were huffing white out. is it a good high?
White out….is God. GOD I TELL YOU!
I made a song for it once. It was to the tune of that song…I think it’s called “the Sound of Silence”…Simon and Garfunkle I’m pretty sure.
Something like:
Hello white-out my old friend…
I’ve come to need you once again
I’ve written ‘and’ instead of ‘the’…
Put a comma where I don’t need one…
Or something
I think there were probably more verses. See, you’re not the only one who’s had a mind-numbingly boring job! I’ve never had whiteout on my nose before, but I do tend to write on myself with pens. A lot.
And last…apologies if I just got that tune stuck in your head. I’m dreadfully sorry.
*snickers*
Okay, so I’m not really that sorry…
Thanks Anne, I guess it could have been worse. It could have been a hilacious dangling green booger. That would have sucked.
DOH! You got me Dom, I’m busted – and you know what? It was so worth it!
Epiphany,
I bow to you.
I’m not worhty. I’m not worthy. I’m not worthy.
Anyone who writes a song to white out, should be immortalized in marble, or bronze.
I can see it now, ‘Here is the 12 foot statue of Epiphany in the park, to honor and commemorate the glorious song, looping forever in our brains, Ode to White Out.’
When they sell a million albums of your song, will you send me an autograph so I can say before she was famous, Epiphany used to read my blog
Maybe they thought you were huffing birdshit?
Hey Marcus!
Welcome to the BlissQuest!
Huffing birdshit? Does that acutally work? Tell you what, you try it out first… and let me know.
Hey Jessie,
I don’t know why your comments keep getting caught in my spam filter
Sorry hun, I’ll try to get it fixed.
XOXO
I wondered what was happening sniff
I don’t even like to eat spam! xoxo