Saturday as I was wandering around Pioneer Courthouse Square with Admiral Fubar, I spied a hottie sitting at the table in Starbucks. So, I gave him a card and wrote on the back… “I saw you. You’re Beautiful” and left my number.
I was so proud of myself. Fairly skipping around with self-pride until I later mentioned it to Friar Thomas in passing and he said, “You mean, you didn’t talk to him?”
“Well, no.” I replied. “A card is like saying I like you enough to make contact, but maybe not enough to sit on your lap and have a conversation.”
“Oh, that’s right,” He said off handedly. “I forgot you like to keep everyone at arms length.”
He said it so matter of fact. As though he were just stating an honest observation that he’d forgotten he had. Or like commenting in the middle of a downpour that it was raining.
My first instinct was to deny it, bite back with a sarcastic refusal – but he had already moved on to the next topic, as though he had no idea that he’d just effortlessly flayed me open and it hurt.
It hurt because he was right, and I knew it.
6 Comments(+Add)
Baby steps, dear. Pushing yourself to failure every time will make you feel like a failure. You are not a criminal, At least you made some effort! When giving a card isn’t quite the rush it used to be, move on to conversation?
I’m a guy and I’m still too often intimidated to strike up a conversation with someone, whether I’m attracted to them or not, so the idea of handing them a card with a compliment and your phone number on it seems to be a nice compromise step.
And I’d be flattered and impressed if a woman did that to me!
Another way to think of “keeping people at arm’s length” is “having safe and appropriate boundaries” and therapists seem to think that’s a good thing…
Sondra, as always you always no how to make me feel better.
Thank you darlin’
Brian, I like the boundries way of looking at it.
I will continue to step further and further out, remarking my limits.
For now, cards are a great tool, and at the very least hopefully they will see it as a compliment like you said. Maybe my attempts to get comfortable will at least cheer some people up.
dude. that would be so hot if someone did that.
its like something out of a movie..something romantic and sexy and a little mysterious.
In fact..were I single I’d totally have to steal that idea.
so there.
Thanks Megan.
I say do it anyway. Single or not. I think, if it were me. I’d love to get a note, even if nothig came of it and there were not expectations. It’s a compliment.
Do it. It’s fun