I had drinks with a couple of friends from PAC on Sunday. Sasha and Peter. When I was first going through my divorce and signed up for classes at the conservatory in search of my lost center, Peter and Sasha and Harley were all key players in my new adventure to become.
What turned out to be the most intense 9 months of my life thus far, they were always there to help me work it through. We are as different, the four of us as can possibly be, I think and yet somehow there are threads of commonality that make it so we can all have a good time together. First and foremost – we are all huge fans of the human story. In ourselves, each other and strangers. Which made it fun to check in after being gone for so long and see where they are and where I am as well.
I drink alcohol now.
Sasha has found love.
Peter has let go of an unhappy life and embraced the adventure of a new world.
I am more grown up, and centered in my own skin.
Sasha is contemplating a cross country life-changing leap.
Peter is stepping out into the dating world.
Harley, although he wasn’t there, has found love + family + a new home.
All in a year and a half. It boggled my mind a little how many things have changed in so short an amount of time and yet – so perfect, because the fundamental things are still the same. Sasha still smiles and her eyes brighten when she asks questions about the details of your story. Peter still runs off, mid-sentence to check the baseball score. Harley still chuckles and the shakes his head ever so slightly when someone says something he finds amusing.
We only really knew one another for 9 months or classes before we all parted ways. Sasha continued at the conservatory while Peter, Harley and I all dropped out and scattered in different directions. But I’m grateful to know them. Grateful they were there at that very first class when I tried to introduce myself to the group and my eyes watered as I explained “I’m getting a divorce and I need a creative outlet. I lost myself for a long time and I’m here to see if I can find the pieces again.” They didn’t judge it. They had their own stories.
They were there when I bought my first extravagant dress, and we celebrated by going out and dancing. They were there when I’d come to class disheveled, my eyes swollen from crying. They were there 9 months later when I walked in carrying a Boston Cream cake that said, “FREEDOM”, and they were the first ones to dig in and share my freedom cake, because they knew how hard I’d worked not to let my divorce put me in the earth.
They were there when I toasted to the open road and drove away with no idea where I was going. They never once said, “don’t do it.” Instead, they waved and said, “Send postcards from your adventure.”
So it was as I sat at Henry’s the other night with them, I felt like I’d come home to family and they were still as beautiful and funny and open as when I left. And the tables have turned slightly. Now Sasha is wracked with confusion about whether or not to go adventuring. Peter is recovering from his own divorce and I am putting in roots.
I have this to say to you both, Peter and Sasha.
Sasha, you only have this lifetime to make yourself happy. Your choices seem big and overwhelming – but we both know, you’re a powerful –vibrant-spunky-red head and a little bit of an overwhelming choice also gets your heart rate up and your chin sticks out for the challenge. You told me once, “You’re young and you don’t have any commitments – so why not?” Why not indeed? My feeling is that you are strong and capable and can do anything you want. I will be here making a nest so go see the world. Jump. And when your wings get tired. Come rest with me and regroup. You will always be welcome in my home.
Peter, you are a brave man. Strong for taking steps that other people can’t understand and for maintaining your honor as a father. You are funny and charming and just the right amount of quirky – so diving into the dating pool should bring you face to face with the fact that you are indeed powerful and attractive. It shouldn’t be hypothetical for you. It’s real. Keep writing and I believe you will also rediscover some of the parts you misplaced when you were married. You have my number, and I hope the knowledge that you can call me anytime. Anytime. Even if you just need someone to sit through the game with pizza and a beer.
I’m blessed to know you both.
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