Brian, I don’t really think of it as hate mail per se. More like vomitus emotional spooge of the self-loathing variety. I love that you blog about sex and politics and strippers! I love reading your journey and pop in from time to time hoping to see that you’ve gone off on some fantastic adventure with some little hottie from Backspace and you’re writing a post from Cancun to tell us you’ve eloped.
Interestingly, most of my male blogger friends do not get the weirdo mail. Yet many of my female blogger friends do – a lot! I have a theory about this, and I’ll shoot from the hip on it even though I have no idea is this theory is even remotely viable, go ahead and chime in and maybe we can figure it out.
My guess is that, statistically speaking, social difficulties and the inability to relate directly to the opposite gender – which often manifests in the need to go inward and use the computer/internet/gaming etc. is statistically – a male thing. Enter the blogosphere; a medium of perfect anonymity wherein the ether shields people from the checks and balance of healthy interaction and social decorum. Without the mirror of a real person to reflect actions, ones behavior is entirely at the mercy of ones own sense of honor and also their own sense of reality.
Sadly, many of my female friends who blog, are hyper aware of what they say – making sure not to post anything that can lead to where they are; living, working, eating out, etc. In the modern age of information technology it’s far too easy for someone to find you via breadcrumbs you drop along the way, and again, statistically, women are far more likely to be preyed upon then men.
My sisters, my friends and my readers have all expressed worry that I have too much information out there. They worry that I have made it too easy for crazy people to find me. I agree, but I’m also not concerned. This is Portland. This is my city and these are my peeps and even though they may have bad days and say stupid shit, I have those days too. E.E. Cummings was a weirdo, but I think he was genuinely harmless. Larry, is disturbed and has been back several times to read what I responded to, but I also believe he doesn’t mean me any harm – quite simply because this is my PERSONAL blog. What I say has no bearing on anyone else’s life, unless they make the choice to let it bother them –over and over again. Then it’s their problem, not mine.
I think my female friends are right to be cautious. They are right to be careful. Does that make me reckless? Maybe. Does it make me stupid that I believe no one will hurt me? No. People are good. They just have ranty-overbearing days. I can work around that, because really, Larry, and EE Cummings have nothing to do with me. Their idea of reality, or their perceptions of truth are no reflection of my Bliss and therefore they are allowed to have their idiosyncratic responses and I will blow it off. That doesn’t make them dangerous. Creepifying and weird, but not dangerous.
I think of it as an interesting reflection of what my readership is. I have about 600 regular readers and only one or two truly vocal and somewhat sketchy responses. That’s not a bad ratio. Most of the emails I get are thank you’s. Thanks for posting about things that no else will talk about. Thanks for bringing up different perspectives. Thanks for honesty.
For whatever reasons the BlissQuest started. Notes like those are valid reasons for me to keep speaking. Keep reaching out. Keep adventuring and writing about it.
Brian, I love your blog. I love that you also tackle topics with such honesty and opneness. I love that you search for love with your heart on your sleeve.
If you really want a hate mail… I can write one for you, but only because you are my friend – would I do that for you. I wouldn’t do that for just anyone you know. But because you are such a good guy – I think I could come up with something emasculating and crude. What do you say? You want I should leave you a comment?
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