Something happened yesterday that I can’t really explain in my own mind. I met a woman I must have known in a different lifetime. She sat across from me dirty, disheveled and one week short of giving birth. In fact her due date is the day after Valentines. She was crass and vulgar and yet – to me – she was strangely beautiful and I had trouble not staring.
Bulbously pregnant, raven hair and olive skin. She had mannish arms and hands and dirt caked in every crack on her fingers. She talked to me with authority as though she presumed I would automatically do her bidding and she was entitled to service.
The thing is, I felt like I’ve known her before. And every time I tried to place it – I got imaginings from a time that is not this time. I tried to do my job while thinking in the back of my mind, “I must be going crazy because I could swear we went to war together. Fought together. Knew one another as friends in another era.”
Then I was back in my office. Data entry on my own computer. Obviously a modern age, with work to be done. She belched loudly and raised a hand, “Not the baby. That one was me.” Unapologetic. Without concern to whether she was offending. She went outside and had a cigarette despite being so close to birthing, and told me a joke that made my cheeks flame (and my cheeks rarely ever flame). She was a mess. And she was stunningly gorgeous to me. I cannot explain it.
It was one of the hardest appointments I’ve ever done and yet somehow, even knowing what her circumstances are, her health and wealth and life… she walked out and I knew she would be okay. Her baby would be okay. I was peaceful in the knowledge that she was being watched out for and as her back disappeared down the corridor I was hit with this sudden and unexplainable thought, “So this where she ended up. I always wondered if I’d see her again.”
Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind. These feelings, so content and matter of fact as though I actually wondered if I’d ever see her again make me feel like I must be nuts and just not know it yet. Or, if I give it just a moment in my consciousness and allow it – there is a space for just a heartbeat where letting myself feel that past life knowing makes everything else in my life make perfect sense. Then it is gone again and I’m back at my computer and the world is chaos and I am confused. To which I shrug and go get another cup of coffee.
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Huh…I can honestly say I’ve never had that happen. Deja Vu, yes. Shared dreams, yes. Sort of…knowing things I had no way of knowing, yes. But past lives? Not so sure.
I have, however, had dreams where I was someone else.
In any case, the only reason you think it’s crazy is that you have no proof of it. I would have thought I was crazy too, when I knew the very minute my grandfather had passed away…except that I was able to verify it. I think people have things happen to them all the time that are supernatural in origin, for lack of a better term, but they don’t know it.
I read a ghosty book by Leslie Rule and to my surprise I found that she shares my theory on ghosts. I think most of us see or hear or experience ghosts more often than we realize, it’s just that as long as there’s a rational explanation for it first we accept that. For example…you’re downstairs in your house and hear footesteps upstairs…but since your sister is home you assume it’s her. Now take away that rational explanation, say you’re home alone, and tada, creepy ghost story.
Anyway that sounded rambling and off topic but basically what I meant to say is that just because you can’t prove it doesn’t mean you’re losing your mind. In fact, I envy you the insight into a past life or greater consciousness or whatever you’d call it that you seem to have.
Also…can I have some of that coffee?
You win the award for the most encounters with the most fascinating people.
I totalllllyy think we have more supernatural encounters than we’re even aware of.
*shudder*
Lara, I love all the fascinating people I get to meet.
Weird and wonderful!
I don’t think you are crazy. I have had that same feeling before it’s very strange. I am sitting here wondering if this woman was a gardener?
Jess, she might actually have been a gardener… I have no idea but it would explain the dirt
Hello, again! This is old, I know, but it prompted me to comment..and as I clicked the button, I realized you might wanna know who’s been screaming through the last year+ of archives!
I really hate it when I forget to be polite.
Anyway, I have left a comment or two…perhaps close to a year ago? About boys and their misconceptions about a girly appearance? I had a browser crash, lost this, found it again a few days ago and started reading like a mad woman. I had to catch up! So, Hi! How’s it going? Hope all is well.
/ot
I’ve had this feeling before. Not quite as conscious as yours, but just as definite a ‘…oh, that’s where he/she is…’ feeling. In fact, my best friend’s family is quite educated on this subject and I’ve learned much from her, and her parents. Its…weird. Not scary, or upsetting, just weird. And I keep waiting for the next time.
Hi Anne!
Good to see you again!
I actually really enjoyed the feeling of re-finding a past life someone and I look forward to the next experience too
I hope you’re doing well and I’m glad you found us again!
Athena