Re-emerging.
It happens during the winter that I become more antisocial. Needing quiet, uninterrupted time to myself. Rarely answering the phone or returning emails, I curl up and read or watch movies and shut people out while I process.
I am just one of those people who require a higher level of solitude than most. Especially while processing something that often times, I’m not even conscious of.
So it happens that this last week I am feeling lighter and ready to come back out. It has been a difficult 6 months, probably the darkest spiritually in quite some time. Most of the problem I believe was my fight and refusal to surrender to the corporate machinery after having been self-employed for two years, free to choose my schedule and project – then being squeezed back into a framework and a career that I have no love for and knew nothing about. After fighting so hard, I decided to surrender and I feel tremendously better. Now the energy I was losing on the struggle can be applied to what I love so I can work around the job.
Anyway, this post is just to let everyone know I’m feeling like myself again. Still not in touch with my wonder or sense of creative joy – but ultimately I feel that with the budding of spring, such beauty is not far away.
I suspect that in the next couple of weeks I will be stepping back out into the social glare to bask in games and chatter with my friends.
I apologize for needing to go away, and I’m looking forward to games of scrabble, overindulging in good coffee, bad horror movies and crazy-talk. YAY!
With the sun also brings more smiling and laughter. I forget sometimes how the dark days can slow me down and lull me into a caving mode. Being that May is right around the corner I am looking forward to more of the vibrant personality that I know I can be and less of the dreary, “leave me alone”.
Here’s to spring and Joy and the end of heavy processing so I can be human again.
Recent Comments