I’m pretty sure this is psychological, but if it is – I’m totally okay with it. Firstly, since doubling and even tripling my protein intake I feel stronger. I have not cut carbohydrates out of my diet I am trying to keep my carbs and proteins equal as I am still working out and need the energy.
The second thing I’ve noticed is that I get tired much faster. While my limbs feel stronger and more powerful, my energetic output is lower. While I suspect this is still a transitional stage, it’s an interesting observation that I cannot seem to do my treadmill time as fast or long, but I am lifting weights have again as heavy as before and twice the duration – but I have less for cardio. I’m still plateaued with my body weight but for the first time in weeks since doing lifting I decided to flex my arm and whooped with excitement.
I ran through the office at work and barged into a meeting with my manager and a co-worker and blurted, “Dude! Feel my arm!” He gave me a sidelong look and squeezed my bicep to humor me. I was ridiculously happy because I haven’t had this kind of tone in my arms since I was a fencer.
SWEET!
This got me all stoked about going to the gym last night and then I noticed a third thing… before leaving work I grabbed my gym bag and went to fill my water bottle up, while I was there I looked in the mirror and noticed nothing out of the ordinary. 20 minutes later I was changing in the locker room at 24 hour fitness and caught my reflection in the full body mirror by the scale – I swear to god I looked suddenly 10 pounds heavier. It was so startling that I stared for a minute, turned this way and that (I rarely make an effort to look in the mirror at the gym as I find it is usually counterproductive) I couldn’t believe I looked that heavy. Suddenly everyone else seemed so skinny to me and I spent the rest of my workout dwelling on it.
Then when I got home and changed again I stood in front of the mirror to try and make peace with how massive I felt – and then – I was back to normal. I saw my reflection and thought, “Wait a minute? Did I just loose ten pounds of water weight in one workout?”
It hit me then, with a terrible sickening. The mirrors at 24 hour fitness are not normal mirrors. Then I immediately retracted the thought, nobody is that cruel. Nobody.
Holy crap, Batman! Could I totally me imagining this? Is this a by-product of low self-esteem or something, perhaps that workout anxiety of trying to obtain the “prefect body”?
Whatever it is, I will try my best not to look at myself in the mirror at the gym. Bad mojo.
The good news is that I am still stoked about how much stronger and more centered I feel. 90 days, guys. I can do this for 90 days.
How are your challenges going?
Lara, how’s your list?
Megan, are you spending time with your goddess?
Sondra, Are you saying no and taking deep breathes?
ResilientMonkey, how are your wanderings going?
11 Comments(+Add)
I only have one question, and it’s a bit snarky so be forewarned.
What’s a ‘prefect body’? Is that some kind of twisted Harry Potter reference?
I’m sorry, I had to…
Oh hey, and since my comment seems to have appeared here and not on the other post I commented on…I read your book! Whee!
The list is increasing in lenght. Doesnt seem to be helping the anxiety of having too much shit to do.
Check the mirror out from the side. Given that their client base is people who feel “compelled” to workout rather than people who “want” to work out, I can imagine that they might try some tricks to keep people coming back.
The lack of sustained energy may just be your metabolism adjusting to the change in input. Protein should keep your energy up for longer because it breaks down into useable components more slowly than sugars. This is why I slather my pancakes and french toast with peanut butter. The protein keeps me from getting hungry so quickly.
Yessss… Just managed my first 10 breaths in a row. And I’ve been making an effort every day. I went to the superheated sauna for lunch, sweated, breathed. It was good.
Strange this yo-yo perception you’ve got going on… All I can think of is if you’re watching your body on a daily basis, there’s not actually a whole lot going on in terms of change. At the same time, there IS a lot of change going on if you were to compare by the month or week. And obviously there’s the mental/ perception changes happening probably at the same rate. Keep a close check on expectations – I know I can’t look in the mirror much the first month or two of working out because I FEEL absolutely bad-ass and will start getting compliments etc – what I do is assume I must be as skinny as the magazine models if I feel like that. Of course, the f-ing mirror always debunks that idea. Aaand if you’re doing more lifting than you have previously, you will gain instead of lose total weight, and unless you’re at 8% bodyfat, those beautiful muscle changes will show up mostly just as extra bulk if you’re not flexing, ie when standing in front of mirror. I think what I’m trying to say is the mirror really doesn’t capture the nuances of posture changes, or how nice your arms look when you’re reaching across the table or in motion, or the FEEL of your body – the mirror can’t see firm thighs. Geesh. I talk an awful lot lately. Anyway, Keep on Rockin on, Theena-Beena!
Epiphany! Thank you! I loved your post on the book and your own haunted stories of childhood! That’s so cool that you grew up in a haunted farmhouse!
Lara, don’t panic.
Just put it all down on paper.
Then let me know when you’re ready to get toegther and go over it
Jordan, I agree with you that it’s just an adjustment. I suspect in a couple of weeks I will have equalized and all will be well.
Sondra you are right on so many levels. Expectations. I will try to keep a check on those
Also you are right. I suspect that lifting weights is a contributing factor in not losing body weight yet. I do look bulkier in my own mind but holy crap, lady! I am lifting more than I thought I would be able to a year ago. I love it!
yes. they are that cruel. But, on the note of lasting energy..do you think it may have to do with the dairy? You could always try one of those protien supplements (like protien water or…eggs..
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I’m doing a bit with my goddess..not enough because of recuperation from audition time of my show, but I spent today just wandering second hand shops, making a late brunch, sitting in the sun…and it helped immensely. I’m going to sit down tomorrow after cleaning Bunny’s house for our cocktail party (I know you can’t come but if you get weary but not sleepy late at night we should still be going) and write out a game plan. yay!
Well, wandering it turns out really hurts my lower back. Must get bicycle back in shape to ease up on back while wandering
Budget however is much better. Took your idea and now have a 20 page spreadsheet that tracks everything by category. I have my $$$ planned out for a year now!
Oh and easy to follow too. Very important.