The deadline pattern goes like so;
Sit to write regularly for several weeks. Feel charged and have an optimistic idea of my discipline. Until week two when I determine what I’m working on is stupid and I need a better plan.
Three weeks into the project decide a different project is a better idea. By the time I switch project ideas – the deadline is closer so I must focus harder.
Therefore, write like a maniac for 8 weeks. Eat, sleep and think about script/book/ etc. Three weeks before deadline suddenly get cocky and at the same time claustrophobic and run out to play with friends while re-writes on the character arcs are percolating in my brain while sitting at the beach. Once I’m out of the house I’m enjoying having much needed social time so I don’t actually want to go back to the isolation.
Then after the guilt sets it that deadline is approaching I reluctantly go back for a week of grudging rewrite. Then as if a magic switch is thrown I suddenly want to date, and play at the club and go drive AND still have the excitement about the script to keep working on it till two in the morning every night!
THEN… the wall.
One week before the big day… I get cranky. Emotional. Stressed out. Snappy. Inspired. Confused. Angry. Creative. Passionate and to channel all this I CLEAN LIKE CRAZY. It’s not procrastination so much as building a focus to clarify the utter panic that is pressurizing, right?
Last night rather than sit and work immediately I cleaned, and cleaned and cleaned some more. The baseboards needed wiped, the fridge deep cleaned, the recycling sorted, and the laundry all three loads redone. Three hours later I put on a mud mask and sat down to write feeling like I’d made some progress.
I’m not going to put it lightly. I’ll probably be a really big bitch for the next five days, and after that I’ll likely be discombobulated and disoriented. As soon as the package is in the mail I will likely be a sobbing mess and cry for another week before I start to re-center and find my non-panic way of being.
So there you have it. The Process.
Recent Comments