I’ve been trying to find a girlfriend for Admiral Fubar before he gets home. Mostly I talk him up to all the single women I meet that I suspect might be his type.
Hence the conversation at the coffee stand drive through near my house,
“Hi! May I have a 12oz decaf Americano? And do you mind if I ask if you ladies are single?” I asked.
Both girls looked suddenly uncomfortable and I realized they thought I was asking for myself.
“I’m just curious because my baby brother comes back from Bagdad in April and I’m trying to hook him up. You know?”
Both girls let out sighs of relief, “Oooooohhhh! Yeah, no, we both have boyfriends. Sorry!”
“That’s so cool,” Said the younger dark-haired one. “What’s he like and maybe we can help you!”
“Well, he’s really tall, has a Bachelors degree in Chemical Engineering and he’s really smart and funny. He’s on Search and Rescue, works for the Red Cross and he’s really self-sufficient. He loves dogs, and hiking and road trips. He’s very honorable. He’s a little bit of a dork, but you know, the good kind of dorky.”
“Oh my god,” said the blond. “He sounds amazing! And the dorky ones are the best!”
“I love the dorky ones!” Said the brunette.
“I know, right?” I agreed. “Anyway, he’s pretty awesome and I’d like to find him someone to hang out with when he gets back.”
“Well help you with your Yenta duties and start keeping our eyes out for any cute, single ladies that come through here. How old is he?”
“25ish but he likes older women too so we could probably go as high as 35? He’s pretty awesome so he deserves someone pretty awesome don’t you think”
“Yes. Awesome! We’ll start asking around!”
They both agreed happily and I drove away feeling all relieved to have recruits helping out on the search.
Then later when I saw yet another lady whom I’ve talked to before at the apartment complex, she shouted and waved, “Hey! Have you found a girlfriend for your brother yet?”
And I suddenly thought, “Oh crap. Maybe I’m talking about this too much. The last thing Admiral Fubar needs is to get home and have random women going… Hey, aren’t you the guy that needs a girlfriend?”
Ooops. Sorry, Fubar… just tryin’ to help!
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