The >Nenana Ice Classic this year was a hefty pot!
Break up in Alaska was official on April 29th, 2010. For those of you who are unfamiliar, “break up” in Alaska is when the ice cracks and it’s officially spring.
I’ve been thinking about it a lot since I’ve been so homesick. Yes, I’ve been fantasizing about moving back to Alaska. Valdez, specifically.
I suspect that I’m homesick because I haven’t felt my best lately, and having already been slightly homesick earlier this year, it’s only gotten more powerful in terms of yearning since I feel crappy and want to be near in the places that are dear to my soul. Portland will always have my heart, but my soul belongs in Valdez.
As I’m trying to find a better sense of stability through the hormone treatments and blood loss and fatigue – I dream of the waterfalls in Keystone Canyon, the emerald crests of Thompson
Pass in the summer and the sharp crystalline wind in the evergreen trees at Robe Lake.
I drift in and out of sleep remembering the turquoise waters, snow capped peaks and glacial summits that feed the bay where I used to fish and swim and kayak.
I miss it.
I miss it even though I know I can’t survive it again. Not the winter anyway. The summer for sure, but I can’t do the 9 months of cold, isolated darkness.
But those three months of glorious sunlight, fjords, inlets, real honest to god mountains, glaciers, fireweed and vibrant wildlife….
It feels like, sometimes, that the memories of that time in such a spectacular place somehow makes it possible to drag myself out of bed on the really difficult days of exhaustion or not feeling well.
I don’t know why – but thinking about home is helping me put one foot in front of the other. I don’t have much energy left over for returning texts, emails or calls or for even doing laundry for that matter. I make it to and from work and that’s the best I can do for the moment.
And in the meantime – I will keep reminiscing on Worthington Glacier, Columbia Bay, Blueberry Hill, Mineral Creek, the small boat harbor and the spit. I’ll dream of coffee at the Totem, and crispsies at McMurrays. And while I think fondly on it all – I’ll keep plugging along until I feel strong by myself again.
2 Comments(+Add)
i have similar thoughts of Utah… but it is not the winter that keeps me from going back
minimal communication is just fine Athena. just keep letting us know your head is still above water.
Your thoughts could be mine exactly, for sure. Whenever I’m homesick for Valdez, the images and memories that come to mind are of the summertime, sun shimmering over the hazy green mountains, being out on the water with wind in my face…but it’s the winter that makes me check my headlong rush into “I WANNA GO BACK” land. Also the fact that it’s a 5 hour drive to get to any real conveniences. But oh, do I miss it.
Hang in there.